New Year’s Resolutions ~ How to keep one.

In the last few years I have developed a renewed sense of self by making and keeping a few New Year’s resolutions. I found the key to being successful at this is to make the first resolution an expansion of who I am as a person of interest.

What that means is to add some skill or pursuit(new hobby) that I can focus on as a part of who I am. Last year I decided to pursue Artisan Bread baking as a new way to express myself and share the joy of it with others.

Undaunted by a few failures, I pressed on and mastered the craft to my satisfaction. My family and friends now look forward to the creations that come out of my oven at mealtimes. Italian, French, Danish, it mattered not. My focaccia bread is “to die for!” The best I have ever tasted.

I tried and conquered many a recipe without fear of failure. The key was to learn from my mistakes. I did, and am a much better person for it. Amazing what life lessons can be learned in the kitchen.

This year I am going to try my hand at sculpture. I think I may have to take a course at our community college to get me up to higher levels but the beginnings I can handle on my own. I’m sure my family and friends will find it quite amusing. Wish me luck. Photos coming soon.

I failed at my second resolution which was to walk at least three miles a day. Too many things kept getting in the way and I soon gave up the required daily aspect, eventually it became less frequent and finally dropped to once a week if at all. If you asked me today I can’t remember the last time. Sigh!

Taking a clue from my first resolution I realized I had been too narrowly focused on one possibility and needed to approach the resolution with a broader stroke of the brush. The whole point of the resolution was to improve my physical health. There are many ways to do that. Why focus on one? That’s like making the same type of bread, every day, day after day.

This year my resolution will be to do at least three things each day to improve my health. Take a vitamin. Eat a salad. Skip the dessert. The list is as broad as my proverbial brush stroke. By the end of the year I may even get back to the three miles a day thing. Who knows?

The challenge will be to log in all the possibilities and see how many I can come up with to keep the game interesting. I wonder if drinking a cold beer counts as a herbal remedy for mood adjustment? I’ll try to keep you posted as I go along the path to better health.

This year will also lend itself nicely to an expansion of my social life. My New Year’s resolution will involve reconnection with family and friends. That includes at least one sponsored social event at my home such as dinner and a movie, or Poker Night with the boys. Maybe even an afternoon spot of tea with my lady friends, wife included of course.

I may even start sending out birthday cards to everyone in the family, all 128 of them! Do they offer wholesale prices on stamps? You get the picture. Reconnect! Damn the cost, full speed ahead.

The message I have for all of you is that New Year’s resolutions must be at least a little creative or you will soon lose interest in keeping them. Happy New Year to all of you, and may your New Year’s resolutions be a reflection of who you want to be by the end of this next year.

 

 

Joy or Sorrow ~ The choice is yours to make

Unlike the mental scale we use to measure our current state of mind, where we can add and remove things to get ourselves back into balance, the great scale that measures our lifetime can only have things added to it. None of these important memories can be removed.

We carry these things, good and bad, with us for the rest of our lives. The two platforms on this balancing scale are labeled “joy” and “sorrow.” It is this scale, hidden in the deep recesses of our minds, which we use to measure all of our efforts to love and be loved, past and present.

As we examine this scale, we begin to better understand the tight bond between time and love. Piled high on each side of this scale are the moments in time when the clock stopped and we created a memory we will never forget.

At the center of this memory will be our decision to love them or reject them. In the end it becomes either a moment of joy, or one of great sorrow. It is no wonder that it is so difficult to keep our balance.

True Sorrow is the only way to heal a broken heart

True sorrow is the only way to heal a broken heart. Each time you grieve you are offered an opportunity to forgive and be forgiven, but only if all the hate that was causing your grief had been removed from your heart. You must forgive both them, and yourself too.

How strange is it that we must use some of the love we felt for that other person to repair the damage caused when it is torn asunder. If we look a little closer we soon discover that it is not a lack of love or a failure to love that is causing us so much pain. It is the hate.

Like salt on a wound our feelings of hate continue to rile us up and aggravate the very wounds we desperately wish would heal so we can get on with our lives.

True sorrow for the loss of what was once so beautiful, when combined with forgiveness that releases us from the terrible desires of hate, is the only way to restore the peace of mind we seek.  

Why did you buy them “that” gift?

The Christmas Season, that brief span of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas Day, is filled with a rush of emotions. With each person we select to buy a gift for comes one or more emotions we hope to express.

For some people it is a gesture of thanksgiving. For others it is a feeling of hope. Still others,love enduring, love beginning, sometimes even love lost with hope of restoring.

Each gift carries on its golden wings a message for the recipient. Make a friend, fill a need, sooth hurt feelings, or inspire them to self improvement, the list goes on.

Look at the gifts you have purchased. What message are you sending with them? If there is no message, you have wasted your time and money and need to put more thought into your gift giving. Imagine you went out in search of that one special gift to tell them how you feel.

For many a Christmas card and a brief phone call is all they need. If you want to buy someone a gift, focus on the message you hope to sent along and write it on the card you send with it. Along the way you will discover the true meaning of the Christmas Season. It is a renewal, a reawakening, an appreciation of the many sources of love we have in our lives.

For me, Jesus Christ is my greatest source. My gift to Him should always be to love my neighbor, and myself of course. His birth reminds us all of the gifts he continually showers on us everyday of our lives. All He asks is that we share His great love with those around us.

The Golden Rule ~ Broken Everyday

Everyone knows the Golden Rule, but have you ever wondered its source, where it came from, what wise man first penned the phrase and gave it to all of us as a gift? The answer may surprise you.

The natural inclination in searching for the source is to look to the ancient religions. Surely we will find a wise man there who scrawled it on a sheet of papyrus or carefully chiseled it into the face of a stone tablet. What we find surprises us.

Judaism ~ "What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man. That is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary"

Hindu ~"This is the sum of duty: Do naught unto others which would cause you pain if done to you"

Buddhism ~ "Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful"

Islam ~ "No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself"

Confucianism ~ "Surely it is the maxim of loving-kindness: Do not unto others what you would not have them do unto you"

There are more religions, each one reads like a warning of things you should not do. Then we look at the Christian version of the Golden Rule given to us By Jesus Christ. What do we discover? Here it is.

Christianity ~ "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets". In modern times this has been rewritten to say, “Always do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Other religions used the Golden Rule to warn against bad behavior towards one another. The Christian version is a call to extend the kindnesses you find in your own heart to those around you, always, not just when you are inclined to.

It is the only version of the Golden Rule that promotes a positive interaction. It is the only version written by God. All the others were written by men who wish to appear god-like and keep the peace.

When you break the Christian version of this rule you do as much or more damage to yourself as a person as you do to them as an individual worthy of your kindness. Following this rule will lead to much happiness in your life. “Always do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

 

That one special relationship

    A very special relationship, one selected from many a true love relationship, is found only between the best of friends, where there are no irreconcilable differences that place limits on the trust they have for each other. The intimate, physical confirmation of this relationship is then limited to the one close friend who makes the commitment to fill all our needs, every day, for the rest of our lives.

All other true love relationships we have respect this line drawn in the sand. Yes! It is possible to have more than one true love relationship at one time, but, only one intimate one, because that single love relationship requires a 100 percent commitment.

Every one of these relationships is as unique and different as the two people who are an equal part of it. And yet, all true love relationships end up appearing to be the same: They all match our preconceived expectations of what a true love relationship should be. How is this possible?

The key appears not to be in what they have in common, but rather in what their differences are. But unlike friends who simply accept each other’s differences, these special love relationships rely on each other’s differences to help them live their lives to the fullest, to help them feel complete.

J.Siler

Love relationships were not meant to be accidental.

    A very special relationship, one selected from many a true love relationship, is found only between the best of friends, where there are no irreconcilable differences that place limits on the trust they have for each other. The intimate, physical confirmation of this relationship is then limited to the one close friend who makes the commitment to fill all our needs, every day, for the rest of our lives.

All other true love relationships we have respect this line drawn in the sand. Yes! It is possible to have more than one true love relationship at one time, but, only one intimate one, because that single love relationship requires a 100 percent commitment.

Every one of these relationships is as unique and different as the two people who are an equal part of it. And yet, all true love relationships end up appearing to be the same: They all match our preconceived expectations of what a true love relationship should be. How is this possible?

The key appears not to be in what they have in common, but rather in what their differences are. But unlike friends who simply accept each other’s differences, these special love relationships rely on each other’s differences to help them live their lives to the fullest, to help them feel complete.

Just as where the differences between men and women make it possible for the human species to survive extinction, each one contributing their strengths to the common good, so too, do couples in a strong love relationship rely heavily on each other’s mental, physical, and emotional differences to create the peace, and love, and happiness that seems to fill their daily lives.

It truly is the discovery of these unique differences and the merging of these two “halves” to make one “whole” couple that creates the beautiful relationships we recognize almost instantly every time we encounter one of them.

God has a plan regarding our love relationships. Foremost in His plan is to provide us with a feeling of peace, free from the fear we feel when trust is not present, as well as our fear that our weaknesses will cause our downfall. It is this love relationship that we seek until we find it. To believe it happened by accident fails to give God credit for a great plan.